The Essential Guide to Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse

October 28, 2016 3 minute read
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As avid fans of The Walking Dead and with season seven having just premiered, we’ve been spending quite some time deliberating over our survival chances should the zombie apocalypse ever breach our shores. Rather than become disheartened at our lack of impressive arsenal, a stronghold which rivals a prison and our own personal battalion of tanks, we’ve been putting together our zombie survival guide – well, the techie alternative, in true Proporta fashion. If you want to make like Arthur the Armadillo and equip yourselves with the tech toolkit to take you from prey to predator faster than you can say “watch out, there’s a walker over there”, read on…

Zombie Survival Sheet 1.0

Surviving an infectious outbreak of any kind requires some forward-thinking and planning; making sure you have your essentials covered (from your quarantined location to your stash of supplies) could save your life. When it comes to a zombie apocalypse, there’s no difference. You’ll just need to back up your inventory with an arsenal of weapons and a whole lot more food and fuel.

Zombie Survival Sheet Blank

What’s on your zombie survival checklist? | Photo credit: The Chive

Where to go:

We don’t exactly have a zombie-proof stronghold to our name, so we plan on setting up camp downstairs in our warehouse. Spread over two floors with a stash of staplers, shelves, boxes and a forklift truck, as well as impenetrable steel shutters, we think it’s the best place to hide from the walkers.

If you don’t have your own warehouse, we suggest heading straight to the nearest hospital, school or country house – bungalows are almost definitely a no-go and try to avoid city centres where the density of biters will be at its highest.

The Walking Dead Prison

The Walking Dead’s main characters set up camp at a prison in the show’s third season | Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

What to wear:

If you happen to know someone with riot gear or army overalls, you’re probably in safe hands. For those of us who are more ASOS jeans and Nike trainers, we suggest dressing in the following essentials: boot socks, thermal underwear, weatherproof jacket and a comfortable t-shirt, trousers and sweater. Optional extras include steel toe-capped boots, hats and scarves (weather-dependent) and a balaclava (if you’re after an ‘edgier’ look). Don’t forget about your rucksack either – you’ll need something suitable to carry around all those supplies.

Pro tip: add a smartphone armband to your arsenal of everyday essentials – it’ll save your hands for carrying extra supplies, and the waterproof panel and wrap-around device protection will save your must-have mobile from knocks, drops, bumps and bites.

Zombie bite

Keep yourself protected against fatal zombie bites

How to move around:

We wouldn’t advise setting off on foot to get from A-B when undertaking supply runs or moving locations in search of a better stronghold. You need to source a vehicle as soon as possible: if you can get your hands on a truck, tank or Range Rover, you’ll be safer behind the wheel. If, like us, the best vehicle you can source is your boss’ BMW, at least equip the interior with all the essentials you’ll need.

Firstly, deck out your dashboard with an in-car mobile device mount – you’ll need to stabilise your smartphone when you’re driving off-road on bumpy terrains. 4G might be intermittent when the zombie apocalypse hits, so we suggest stashing a few maps in the back too. To keep your phone powered up and ready-to-go, you’re going to need an in-car USB charger. We’ve heard that the mains power supply can go down during an infectious epidemic but luckily, your car will be able to help keep your gadgets geared up when you need them most. Other essentials like a first aid kit, weapons and child safety seats go without saying.

The Walking Dead Atlanta

An iconic shot of Atlanta from Fear The Walking Dead | Photo credit: www.thewalkingdead.com

How to defend yourself:

Occasionally you’re going to be stuck in a situation where you need to fend off an army of zombies. You might luck out and be face with just one walker which has wandered off, or you might be met with a whole herd. In this situation, you’re going to need weapons.

Unlike our companions from The Walking Dead, we live in England and we’re therefore at a disadvantage when it comes to your choice of weaponry. Unless you’re in the Metropolitan Police Force, you likely won’t have access to any guns. We find that common kitchen utensils are the best choice, from butter knives to whisks and rolling pins, there’ll be something you can use to take your arsenal from Great British Bake Off to geared-up in no time.

You’ll need to protect your valuables from attack too, so we suggest doing two things: firstly, you’re going to need to encase your smartphone in one of two bite-proof cases. Our favourites are the Dual Shield 360 and the Carbon Fibre Edge Edition Folio. The former offers wrap-around 360° protection and includes a Tempered Glass screen protector, so you’re covered from all angles. The latter uses ultra-tough Carbon Fibre to protect your phone’s screen, and a magnetic panel and slim recess adds in-car functionality in landscape orientation. Carbon Fibre is strong enough to prevent a shotgun blast from penetrating the cover, so it’s guaranteed to defend itself against bites too.

Carbon Fibre Edge Folio

Keep your iPhone protected from slashes and bites in the toughest Carbon Fibre costume

With your essentials covered, you’re in better stead to stand a chance at surviving a zombie apocalypse but, really, you can never be sure. Keep your base secret and secure, ensure your group is strong and trustworthy and stock up on as many supplies as you can. Don’t forget that all weekend (October 28th to October 31st 2016), you can grab a free mystery gift on all orders over £20 with the code MYSTERIOUS. It’s an essential item that’ll keep you covered if or when the outbreak hits. You can thank us later.

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